(Copy that accompanied revolutionary technique that let the customer make Chucks out of any material they desired.)

Millions of different fabrics thread your life. Your favorite hoodie. The tee from your first concert. The Stars and Stripes you fly on July 4th. The Terrycloth Robe you stole on vacation. Dad’s 70’s tuxedo he gave you for some reason. The reindeer sweater you only wear drunk. Your sexy silk drawers for anniversaries. Your casual Friday Hawaiian shirt. The scarf you wore on your first date. The non-profit tote you donated for to feel generous. Your lucky socks from the time your team won. Your grunge-period flannel. The jeans you hate that make your ass look chunky. Your old scouts uniform. Grammy’s handmade quilt. The baby blanket…you’re not quite ready to give up yet. These fabrics are a part of your memories. And now, they’re a part of your Chucks too.

(Copy that accompanied Worn Again Jerseys, Chucks made out of athletic jerseys.)

OREGON DUCKS

Webfeet, a bill and feathers.

Hear the mighty quack of the furious fowl.

The order of the O.

The united brigade of Eugene.

We trounce Trojans. We hobble Huskies.

We butcher Beavers.

This is our flock.

We are a community. A bloodline. A family.

We don’t have games. We have wars.

Our Oregon counts on us.

On our feet. Faces painted. Throwing the O.

Screaming for victory.

Green and yellow. Body and soul.

We are the Oregon Ducks.

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

We’re always there.

We always win.

You probably hate us.

And we friggin’ love that.

Our quarterback is prettier than your wife.

Our coach could beat your team with Pop Warners.

You couldn’t stop our tight end with a bazooka.

Four shiny Lombardi Trophies.

One legendary dynasty.

Our arrogance was earned.

After 40 years of suffering.

And nothing’s going to bring us back down.

Spygate? We overcame.

Deflategate? Go fish.

We’re still winning.

We’re still wearing #12 jerseys all-year-long.

You still friggin’ hate us.

We are the New England Patriots.